Sitting here, with Netflix suggestion ‘Grace & Frankie’ making background noise, whilst browsing Instagram on my mobile and having inhaled 170g of KitKat Mint…for breakfast…it’s 08:58am on a Monday, all after having a bit of a fright when catching myself in the mirror this morning, it’s time for me to stand up and say, “my name is Samantha, and I’ve fallen off the wagon. I’m a sugar and Instagram addict”.
I’m my fathers daughter, I’ve always had the sugar addiction. Since signing up to Weight Watchers back in February and losing 16kgs over the last six months, I had managed to keep it under control. Removing my regular binges to just the odd small enjoyment. Having high, yet realistic hopes, that the final 10kg will also fall off, albeit slower, but it will in time. I’ve not opened the WW app in a wee while, as I was on top form, eating similar set meals daily, staying within my points, and losing the inches. Yeah, well, that’s shot to shit of late.
The weight hasn’t been feeling off, the bloating is back, the adult acne has returned (I can’t express how much this frustrates me, having clear skin for 33 years of my life), the hair is limp and dull, and the under eye bin liners are their own headline act.
My significant other loves his ‘junk food’, and I would say 75% of the time, I’ve been able to resist whilst he dives in. However, the last few weeks have not been as easy. The sleep pattern slipped, and we all know, it may be science, but it really also isn’t difficult to understand, once the sleep allowance is reduced, the cravings heighten. Last week we had dinner out with Bradley’s mother and partner. Beautiful tasty food, yet rich in flavour, upsetting my stomach somewhat. Then we had our three year anniversary dinner later in the week. Bradley jetted off to Sydney on Friday for a friends stag do, and over these last few days, I’ve completed the following:
- Worked a daily shift
- Sat on my backside and spent more time browsing Netflix rather than selecting a show/movie to enjoy in its entirety
- Late nights/early mornings
- Cycles to and from work
- One workout
- Large amounts of food. ‘Bad’ food. Pizza. Burrito. Fries. Cinnamon chips. Nacho chips and smoked cheese dip. MULTIPLE 200g blocks of chocolate. Bags of Pic’n’Mix. Trays of cookies. Quesadilla. Coke Zero. Oh, I did have scrambled egg on Kumara & Almond toast with a Tropeaka Lean Protein and Wheat Grass blended beverage. That, that I know cancels out none of the above.
I know I’ve eaten a lot these last four days, and the fact that it’s low in nutritional value, with the addition of low levels of sleep and activity (my ass print has full on made a permanent arty dent on our sofa) I can’t even remember what else, but is the above description not embarrassing enough?!
With the finale of Love Island UK treating my peepers in what feels like a lifetime ago, I vowed to get back in to another hobby I’ve always enjoyed – reading. With a fresh charge generated through my Kindle, and some delightful new downloads, I was all on track to sit and enjoy some new candles, the peace of an empty home, a freshly stocked fridge of pumpkin, mushrooms, spinach, beetroot and kombucha. Oops, that food is still in the fridge, and the Kindle hasn’t been turned on. My Instagram scrolling however is mastered and I’ve seen some great vegan recipes, some great fitness routines, and some cracking lifestyle inspiration. All whilst grubbing up the screen with my biscuit/sweet/chip/soda covered fingers. I made great use of my re-founded gunt however, it holds my mobile up just perfectly.
It’s so easy to fall back in to these holes, but it’s like trying to climb out, with hand cramp, of a deep dark cave after days and days of rain and landslides. I’ve done it before, and I’ll do it again, soon, hopefully. I know it starts by just dealing with the headaches, the stomach pains and the constant thinking of what I can’t have, to get through three days to become clean of sugar and crap, and then it’s an easier road to sobriety.
I’m on a close shift at work today, so I’ll be sure to complete another cracking workout before that shift, clean up, work hard for 8 hours, with frozen veggies and tinned chicken for my break, home by 10:45pm, a sleepy tea, and if, IF, I’m hungry, two rice cakes with peanut butter, a sleeping tablet and hit.the.hay. I’ve a day off tomorrow, so I hope for a lay in, and only leaving the house for a walk. Without my wallet. I will not succumb to the junk food purchases.
Our weekly groceries will be delivered in the next 90 minutes, and off the top of my head, there are no quick fixes in that order. I did order some ingredients to make healthy alternative snacks. Working weekends/mixed rosters makes you lose track of what day it is, but I do know that now I’ve finished my breakfast of KitKat, it’s a good enough day to call The Beginning, v2.0.
The Instagram cleanse is not something that can be cleansed with a grocery shop, but telling myself to complete mindful eating (sit at the table and eat the food with no tv or mobile phone in hand), a cull of who I Follow, and reduce myself to a single morning and evening glance, that too should be reduced in three long days.
Disclaimer: I’m not certified in anyway to give advice, and neither do I know any better. So just read this for a nosey, don’t do as I say hoping for miraculous results. I promise nothing. It can still be fun though. Laterz chums xxx